Why Being Scared Is A Really Good Thing

I want to clue you guys in on a little secret about me. I’m scared shitless 99% of the time. Whaaatttt?! Yup. I am. If I have a toolbox full of self-help tools, then why, you may wondering, would I be scared all the time? Because I choose to live my life on the edge.

I choose to live right on that threshold between comfort and stretching myself.

If you are feeling comfortable right now, then chances are, you need to do a little stretching. Now, put your yoga mat away, I’m not talking downward doggy. I’m talking about doing things in your life that make you feel absolutely terrifed – sweaty armpits, breaking out in hives, trembling hands, the whole deal.

As some of you may remember, nearly a year ago, I made a coming out blog post, about my challenging past, which included being arrested. This was the most scared I ever remember feeling. When I went to hit the publish button, I nearly thought I was going to have a panic attack.

I was about to tell the whole world things about myself that I’d kept locked up in a tiny box, hidden under my bed, next to the moth balls, collecting dust for years. In that box was what I deemed to be my embarrassing and shameful past.

But, you know what’s so wild? That blog post became the most popular post I’ve ever written. Why? Because I stretched myself and took a risk. In doing so, I became relatable and approachable in the eyes of hundreds of people.

That experience taught me that in order to achieve greatness, I need to be constantly stretching myself to the point of terror. I’m not trying to be dramatic here.

But, honestly, every time I reach a new level of growth and mastery within myself, I do feel terrified.

When you stretch yourself to do something you’ve never done before, you don’t know what that next level, or new way of being is like.

Think of it like a video game.

Let’s take a walk down 90’s lane for a minute. Before you made it into Bowser’s Castle in Mario World, you only knew what the level was like that you were currently on. In order to make it to the next level, you could only die a certain amount of times. If you used up all of your lives, you had to keep playing that same level until you could make it through.

If you keep repeating the same pattern in life, you will stay on the same level, and you’ll never have the chance to enter into Bowser’s Castle.

Doing things that make you feel scared help you to advance to the next level.

Life is all about growth. We don’t get born out of the womb as full blown adults. We are born infants, given the opportunity to grow.

It’s our fear that holds us back. It’s fear that tells you if you do this crazy thing that is normally so unlike you, then something terrible will happen. That’s just a lie.

Fear was something that was developed as a protection mechanism in order for the species to be able to continue to populate. Back in the day, when a woolly mammouth approached, fear was a useful tool that told us to we better haul ass out of here or we’re going to die!

There are no woolly mammouths anymore, and chances are, you’re not in immediate danger of any predators. Our brain doesn’t know this though. Our brain reacts in the same way to posting a truth telling blog post as it does to the impending threat of a predator.

I’m here to tell you to do things that make you feel scared.

Know that feeling scared is just all part of the process. Stretch yourself. Go beyond your comfort zone. Once you catch yourself doing something that you’d never thought you’d find yourself doing, then you’ll know you’re really cooking up some greatness in the cosmic kitchen!

So, pull out your chef’s hat, and get cooking. The world longs to taste your delicious creations.

Love and Fearlessness,






P.S. Would you like help stretching yourself in new ways? Do have a pattern or a plaguing issue that you’d like to work through? I know how frustrating it can be. You don’t have to go at it alone. Let’s chat! Hit me up here.

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