Hello loves! I want to talk to you about judgment. Judgment is tricky because it’s a survival mechanism for humans, but yet at the same time, it can also be a hindrance to our spiritual growth.
When we are toddlers, our parents begin to teach us how to talk. They may point to certain objects and say the word for which that object is. For example, they may point to a tree and say “tree” or point to a dog and say “dog.”
This is when we first begin to judge.
It is our ability to judge one object from another which teaches us how to talk and how to communicate in the world.
This is why judgment is a survival mechanism. Without being able to discern
one object from another, we wouldn’t be able to properly express ourselves and connect with other people.
However, judgment can act as a disservice for our personal development when we attach a story to what we are judging.
Let’s use the example of scrolling through the Facebook feed. We might come across a picture of someone who we think posts a lot of selfies of her self to try to get attention from others. Perhaps we see the selfie of the duck faced girl, and in our mind, we immediately think “this girl is trying to get attention.”
That thought, “this girl is trying to get attention,” coupled with the feeling that what she’s doing is bad is the judgment. The girl posting selfies may or not be insecure, maybe she’s just really confident. But, it’s not up to us to decide what’s best for her highest good.
We get to decide what’s best for ourselves, not for other people. It’s not our business how someone else behaves, unless of course, it’s directly affecting you.
Judging other people leads to the closing of your heart.
A closed heart doesn’t allow energy to naturally flow. Judgment acts like a kink in a garden hose, cutting off the natural flow of positive life force and acts as a miracle blocker.
Let’s take this a step deeper. If you come across the picture of the girl making the duck face in your newsfeed and you are triggered by it, there’s a message for you. What I mean is that when you have a judgment about another, it’s really a judgment about yourself.
The judgment you have about yourself is called your shadow. You typically can’t see it in yourself, but you can clearly see it in another, so you judge the other person for having that quality.
When in reality, you are really just annoyed with yourself for not having reconciled that unfavorable quality. Instead of dealing with your own annoyance, you make the other person “bad” for having that very same quality.
This is PHD level spiritual work.
To put it simply, that old saying, “what you don’t like in another is what you don’t like in yourself” is absolutely true.
The next time you are catching yourself in judgment, hold the phone, aka PAUSE. Take a deep breath. Flip your script and see if you can find what is annoying you in the other person in a behavior that you actually possess.
Let’s look at that example I used of the girl with the selfies. Maybe you don’t take selfies of yourself to get attention, but do you use your wit and humor to get people to like you? Are you an over achiever at your work and you try to get your boss’s attention that way? This is where you dig deep to find the correlation.
It takes courage to look at yourself in this way.
On the other side of judgment is incredible freedom.
Make the commitment to look at your own shit instead of judging other people’s shit.
Would you like help with bringing healing to your shadow side? Shoot me a message here and let’s chitty chat!
Wishing you a wonderful judgment free week!
Love and Acceptance,